Tuesday, July 31, 2007

*Here's* the Narnia Reference...

Eventually, Aslan's Turkish Delight addiction began to cause problems: 'I fucking need it, Lucy! Just one? Come on, damn it - I'm Jesus! Give Jesus what he needs...'

Posted by Josh at 9:24 AM 5 comments

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Mock the Visually Impaired

In order to cover for the fact that she had no eyes, Ursula tried stunts like pretending to use a mirror, but the other girls weren't fooled - they rightfully mocked her for the freak she was.

Posted by Josh at 9:13 AM 7 comments

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Smutty Innuendo Redux

'What do you mean, 'from here I should be able to tell if the carpet matches the drapes?' You have polished wood floors. Timmy didn;t know how right he was.

Posted by Josh at 9:37 AM 9 comments

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Kiss My ASIMO

'Wheels for legs, a dustbin for a body and a dead hobo fro a brain -- you;re going to be the best robot ever!'

Posted by Josh at 9:20 AM 9 comments

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Knock Knock

'Hi, we're the Bicurious Plumbers - we've come to check out your pipes...' Living in the Land of Porn wasn't so great. Sometimes all Jeeves wanted was to just get the fucking toilet fixed.

Posted by Josh at 9:51 AM 6 comments

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

On the Internet, No-one Can Hear You Yif

All Bertie wanted was to explore Second Life in peace as a Cockney chimney sweep, but the ever-increasing hordes of catgirls made this impossible. He was forced to hire a protector, whose 'fees' eventually became an even worse torment. But by then it was too late...

Posted by Josh at 9:24 AM 3 comments

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Available Now!

The DeskMonkey Stationery Storage System, a wonder of the modern age! Thelma and Betty couldn’t wait to see the model that Miss Battersby had installed in her office. Upon arriving they found Bertie had already dislocated his jaw from gaping in amazement at its magnificence.

Posted by Josh at 9:20 AM 10 comments

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Red Rag

As his friends ran to safety, Timmy prepared put his strategy into action: Using his umbrella to guard against splashback, he would douse the vampire bull in holy water, and as it writhed in pain, he would drive his stake deep into its heart, then step back and watch with an air of satisfaction as it crumbled to dust. Turned out it was just a regular bull. Sucks to be Timmy.

Posted by Josh at 9:32 AM 12 comments

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Revisionist History

In the early years of WWII, the allies launched Operation Pickles: a covert attempt to infiltrate Germany and assassinate Hitler. Unfortunately, due to a simple miscommunication, the mission resulted in comprehensive failure. 'What? You meant soldiers disguised as schoolgirls? Bugger. Ah well, scrape up any<br />remains and send letters to their parents.'

In other news, you could do worse than check out Skru Comics (MySpace page). This tearaway makes actual comics out of paper and dreams, and then sends them to me in an attempt to get me to pimp them on my own website. Which I appear to have just done.

Well played, young man -- well played.

Posted by Josh at 9:50 AM 11 comments

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