Pete was the kind of guy who would continue happily relating his anecdote, gesturing broadly and smiling, long after it should have been obvious that nobody was listening. His resulting hatred of new crewmember Bloodbath Cindy would not make him any more popular.
Whoa ... just realised that you guys are based in New Zealand ... the funny time zone should have tipped me off. By "DHS" I was referring to the US Dept of Homeland Security, which if you haven't heard has recently had two of its agents arrested for acts not quite in keeping with the security of America's teenage girls: see http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/wireStory?id=1811936 and http://news.tbo.com/news/metro/MGBKPR9ONJE.html
I don't have it in front of me, but it was something along the lines of "Now you're aboard you'll have to cook and clean for us." Obviously, they were friendly children's book pirates, who never rape, pillage and/or plunder.
Although she was more than a little concerned at first, little Julie would be surprised to learn that the consequences of losing at rock-scissors-paper on board the Jolly Rogerer were not nearly as ... uncomfortable as those she had experienced in the regular Navy.
The crew despised her draconic, iron-fisted command, but they knew, were any sailor to mutiny against Capt. Daisy, the penalty would be much worse than death.
"I just don't understand it.." pondered the Captain, "you'll have to show me once again, how DID you fit a seven year old girl in that barrel?"
ReplyDelete"Pirates? Why, not a single one of you has a hook or peg-leg! I suspect you are mere corsairs!"
ReplyDeletePete was the kind of guy who would continue happily relating his anecdote, gesturing broadly and smiling, long after it should have been obvious that nobody was listening. His resulting hatred of new crewmember Bloodbath Cindy would not make him any more popular.
ReplyDeleteRrrr! Back her up before she blows! That cannonballs coming back out!
ReplyDelete"one eye'd Pete was dissapointed that, despite all his practice, little Cindy held her enema longest"
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't want to frisk you for concealed weapons! You DHS agents sure ask some funny questions! May I have my ice cream now?
ReplyDeleteWhoa ... just realised that you guys are based in New Zealand ... the funny time zone should have tipped me off. By "DHS" I was referring to the US Dept of Homeland Security, which if you haven't heard has recently had two of its agents arrested for acts not quite in keeping with the security of America's teenage girls: see http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/wireStory?id=1811936 and http://news.tbo.com/news/metro/MGBKPR9ONJE.html
ReplyDeleteAs always Josh, you had me at "Arrr..."
ReplyDeleteWell what 'ave we 'ere....welcome aboard lass! now put ye fucking knickers on and go make us a tea.
ReplyDeleteCap'n Crip distracted her with his spazzy digits as David Bellamy prepared to board her arse.
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is, what the fuck was the original caption?
ReplyDeleteI don't have it in front of me, but it was something along the lines of "Now you're aboard you'll have to cook and clean for us." Obviously, they were friendly children's book pirates, who never rape, pillage and/or plunder.
ReplyDeleteAlthough she was more than a little concerned at first, little Julie would be surprised to learn that the consequences of losing at rock-scissors-paper on board the Jolly Rogerer were not nearly as ... uncomfortable as those she had experienced in the regular Navy.
ReplyDeleteThe crew all agreed that Tom the cabin boy's impersonation of Shirley Temple was the best they'd ever seen.
ReplyDeleteThe crew despised her draconic, iron-fisted command, but they knew, were any sailor to mutiny against Capt. Daisy, the penalty would be much worse than death.
ReplyDelete