As she slowly sobered up and Mable lumbered forward with the best china, Dora was begining to regret yelling "No, seriously, I can fit ANYTHING in my ear canal!"
"I've adjusted the "satellite" dish!" chimed Cherry "Here, listen to the "speaker"; you can really hear the BBC now!" gushed Gladys. "My cousins are total fucking retards," a perturbed Petunia pondered.
"I don't mean to upset you, dears," said Clarissa, "But I'm afraid putting a plate on your head or holding a jasmine-scented pillow to your ear are not viable methods of contraception".
Although Sarah No. 2's Body Integrity Disorder didn't really fit into the overtly feminine, wholesome and domestic credo of "The 3 Sarahs" group, Sarah's 1 & 3 eventually acquiesced to their friends wish and purposefully set about hacking off the offending ear using a beautiful glass fibre pillow and an absolutely charmingly floral razor sharp tea plate.
Poor blind Maggie. She never guessed her cousins' spirited "play" -three-hours of Hide and Seek, or today's the pillow fight- was really their horrible homelife manifesting amidst her naive innocence.
She'd learn soon enough, as Beth was about to take things too far.
Felicity's selective non-ferrous body magnetizer was all jolly good fun to start with, but later research would show a slightly elevated risk of brain tumours if it was applied too often to the head.
As she slowly sobered up and Mable lumbered forward with the best china, Dora was begining to regret yelling "No, seriously, I can fit ANYTHING in my ear canal!"
ReplyDelete"I've adjusted the "satellite" dish!" chimed Cherry
ReplyDelete"Here, listen to the "speaker"; you can really hear the BBC now!" gushed Gladys.
"My cousins are total fucking retards," a perturbed Petunia pondered.
thats actually awesome alliteration!
ReplyDelete"I don't mean to upset you, dears," said Clarissa, "But I'm afraid putting a plate on your head or holding a jasmine-scented pillow to your ear are not viable methods of contraception".
ReplyDeleteThe transgender production of Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia suffered terribly from the lack of a professional props man.
ReplyDeletePlus the plate was too small....
From her hiding place under the plate Hortense saw the whole saucey affair!
ReplyDeleteAlthough Sarah No. 2's Body Integrity Disorder didn't really fit into the overtly feminine, wholesome and domestic credo of "The 3 Sarahs" group, Sarah's 1 & 3 eventually acquiesced to their friends wish and purposefully set about hacking off the offending ear using a beautiful glass fibre pillow and an absolutely charmingly floral razor sharp tea plate.
ReplyDeletePoor blind Maggie. She never guessed her cousins' spirited "play" -three-hours of Hide and Seek, or today's the pillow fight- was really their horrible homelife manifesting amidst her naive innocence.
ReplyDeleteShe'd learn soon enough, as Beth was about to take things too far.
Everyone enjoyed the pillow fight until Josie, who always slept in the kitchen cabinet, joined in.
ReplyDeleteFelicity's selective non-ferrous body magnetizer was all jolly good fun to start with, but later research would show a slightly elevated risk of brain tumours if it was applied too often to the head.
ReplyDelete