Monday, July 10, 2006

Hello, Nurse

Now, some people will say you should warm the speculum first. But those people are drug addicts and Communists. Well come on, then -- oh, so now you can keep your knees together. Trollop.

Now, I'm not entirely proud of this, but I've set up a MySpace account for Monkey Fluids. Initially I signed up so I could look at my friend's profiles, but then it was pointed out to me that MySpace isn't just for self-obsessed attention junkies and My Chemical Romance fans; it can also be used to whore oneself unashamedly to a wider audience. Of self-obsessed attention junkies and My Chemical Romance fans.

Anyway, it's there. Go nuts.
at

13 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 10, 2006 11:04 am

    Unable to find a banana for her sex-education class, Nurse Brown's use of Nancy's leg to demonstrate condom application technique had seemed like a good idea at the time. The resulting sad tally of outcomes included two cases of venereal disease, three unwanted pregnancies and, for all present, a lifetime of disappointment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 10, 2006 4:26 pm

    "Linguistics class was not at all what Lizzy had been expecting."

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 10, 2006 5:50 pm

    'The girls always thought there was something strange about Nurse's demand that she give the girls their weekly examination in a dilapidated house, "away from prying eyes". Still, the free lollypop afterwards was well worth all the shit.'

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 11, 2006 12:52 am

    "I knew using a live squirrel in the school play was a bad idea," nurse Jackson said. "Well let's see if we can pull the bugger out."

    ReplyDelete
  5. david golbitzJuly 11, 2006 3:42 am

    Does Rapebear have a MySpace? I think Rapebear needs a MySpace.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJuly 11, 2006 7:54 am

    "We'll apmutate the drugged bitch at the knees and elbows" Said Nurse

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJuly 11, 2006 4:11 pm

    You stupid little bint. I told you not to root for the French. I have a stump for you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. hillhuntJuly 11, 2006 8:56 pm

    "Nurse! Nurse!"

    "What?"

    "Wendy's making a scene."

    "It's for the school play, thicko. Now get your foot out of my dress or you'll never walk again."

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006 12:29 pm

    Now, Phyllis here says that she definitely saw you stealing Natashas nose after prep last night. Since it's not in your dorm, there's only one place left to look.....

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006 1:27 am

    About the Myspace thing: you know what? You ARE huge in Portugal. Well, at least within my group of friends, anyway... :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. JoshJuly 13, 2006 7:58 am

    Oh, I know. You all drop me an e-mail when you link to me -- a very polite people, the Portuguese. Unlike the rest of you...

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJuly 14, 2006 3:59 am

    "I don't care what that Sharon Stone wasn't wearing in the film you saw last night", said Sister Rowntree, "you will wear your uniform knickers and like it, Felicity"

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJuly 22, 2006 1:51 pm

    Matron said,"So you are sure it got stuck up here?"

    ReplyDelete