Monday, October 30, 2006

Blast from the Past

'Damn body snatchers -- can't a girl even finish her mural without you bastards making that racket at me?'
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Friday, October 27, 2006

Timmy Points... for the Last Time

'Look, Mummy -- it's raining testicles!' 'You're having dirty thoughts again, aren't you, Timmy? Back in the autoclave.'

That's enough of that.
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Timmy Points Again

'Look, Mummy - the risen Christ! And he’s brought my new kidney!' 'That sounds like the brain tumours talking, Timmy. Back in the kennel.'

Yeah, I'm doing a thing -- it's the owls all over again.
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Monday, October 23, 2006

Timmy Points

'Look, Mummy -- killer bees! Thousands of them!' 'Don't point Timmy -- pointing gives you cancer.' 'But...' 'Cancer. Back in the cupboard.'
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Friday, October 20, 2006

Enigmatic

The world would never know exactly what put a grin like that on Bertie's face. Mrs' Scrimshaw's otters were never seen again, though.
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

In Transit

Imogene’s auto-perambulator could transport her children at considerable speed, regardless of wind resistance. Perhaps that was why they were so apocalyptically ugly.

Picture supplied by jacobmarley - ta for that.
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Monday, October 16, 2006

No Comic Today

At a funeral.
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Friday, October 13, 2006

Cruelty to Accents

Gentlemen gangsters Rory and “Shooter” McCready were largely unsuccessful in their attempts to extract protection money from local potplants: 'Cough up the fahking dosh, you leafy cahnt!' 'I ‘ope the rest of you shrubs is watching this—see what ‘appens to vegetation wot finks it’s ‘ard. Let ‘im have it, ‘Shooter’.'
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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Moments in the History of Dirty Fucking Hippies

Nicholas “Moonchylde” Notegood is generally recognised as the world’s first hippy. Records from several centuries ago indicate that he would dress as a shrub to protest local tree-felling. Authorities of the time ordered him to 'minister to thy locks and take up a respectable trade'. And then tortured him to death.

UPDATE: Due to Blogger's method of generating URLs, it seems the link to this page came out as moments-in-history-of-dirty-fucking.html -- ooh, the search engine traffic that's going to generate...
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Monday, October 09, 2006

There's a pun involving the word "Leaky" in here somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can find it

Finally - a genuine sighting of the suburban ape-girls of Little Dorking! A couple of well-aimed tranquiliser darts, and Lucy would be the darling of the Dorking Anthropological Society. Pushing visions of glory aside, she steadied her nerve and raised the blowpipe...
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Friday, October 06, 2006

Friday I'm in Love

It's Friday and I really can't be bothered. Especially when they make it this easy for me:

Too easy.

I'm thinking I may have to have a sequel to Obvious Week: No Comment Week. I have a few images like this one, where the only suitable caption would be a sardonically raised eyebrow -- do they have a smiley for that?
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Reader Mail #4

Submitted by someone calling himself MrPerson, 1 April 2006:

There were so many things in the soil. Josie knew it, because she heard them screaming all the time. She just had to shut them up.

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Monday, October 02, 2006

Smutty Innuendo

Timmy wasn't sure why Janice was annoyed at him -- he'd 'come through her trapdoor' like she asked, hadn't he? Chicks...

Well, that was needlessly vulgar. As an added bonus, the original caption for that picture:

'Presently he was descending into the bowels of the earth.''

Heh heh... "bowels"...
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