Saturday, March 03, 2007

The Bird is Dead -- or IS IT?

“…but if you’ll do me the honour of accepting my hand in marriage, I swear I’ll devote my life to making your every dream come true. Oh, do say you will…” “Oh, Bertie, you’ve made me the happiest chaffinch alive! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” *swoon* The others thought this was kind of fucked up, but what the hell—as long as he was being a gentleman about it.
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11 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 04, 2007 4:00 am

    C'mon, laser-vision. C'mon, laser-vision. Daddy wants some giblets.

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  2. Vic TrundlesMarch 05, 2007 1:58 am

    Julian knew his veterinarian skills would be enough to charm the girls into his bed - A bird in the hand is worth two bushes.

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  3. hillhuntMarch 05, 2007 9:35 am

    "For fuck's sake, Rupert, hand the bird over to Rolf Harris's hospital, and we can have a new picture to look at for a change"

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  4. AnonymousMarch 06, 2007 5:06 am

    Its pining for the Fjords


    /obvious

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  5. AnonymousMarch 06, 2007 6:10 am

    Those Jackass boys have nothing on us! Watch me swallow this bird whole, it'll blow there minds.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jesse WendelMarch 06, 2007 5:22 pm

    "Now let me just strap Packet One to his leg."

    Karl Magnus was convinced he'd finally get laid if only he could successfully implement the famous RFC 1149 - A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers. Dated 1 April 1990.

    April 1. That should have been a hint. Alas, Karl was from a strange little country that didn't understand April Fool's Day.

    The RFC called for the carrying of Internet Protocol (IP) traffic by birds such as homing pigeons.

    Karl thought if he could make it work -- which he did -- he'd get laid.

    He was wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMarch 08, 2007 8:39 am

    "quickly!" shouted mildred, "the water is rising!"

    derrick quickly pulled on his emergency chaffinch. seconds later it inflated into a convient raft.

    never leave home without one kids!

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  8. deuceMarch 08, 2007 3:37 pm

    And if you girls look closely, see that? A tiiiiiiny little feathery penis.

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  9. AnonymousMarch 17, 2007 4:56 am

    While their parents dined together, the girls joined Jack and Johnny in the back garden for a vigorous tit rubbing session.

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  10. AnonymousMarch 18, 2007 4:51 am

    Okay, a revision.

    Digby inspected the merchandise as the dealers looked on edgily. Rubbing a sample carefully between two fingers, he eventually reached a conclusion.

    "Nice tits" he opined.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMarch 22, 2007 5:02 am

    "Don't lie to us," sneered Julian at the bird, "It's quite clear you were spying on us. Now tell us who you're working for, or I'll snap your legs like straws, you filthy little common creature!"

    ReplyDelete