Thursday, April 26, 2007

Step Right Up

The worst part of working in the circus sideshow was all the jokes about balls flying at their faces.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Behind You!

A sudden noise made Bertie look around. Was it Marjorie? Had she finally come to seek revenge for the sodium in her catheter bag? Adjusting his attack trousers up another notch, he moved to investigate...

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Bestiary Expands

'OK, you’ll like this one: A seal, a kangaroo and a cow walk into a bar, and the - oh. Ooh, this is awkward...'

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Not content with providing compelling genetic evidence for evolution, the godless liberal apes began performing abortions on demand.

Credit where it's due: The title and content of today's post was inspired by child educator and recreational abortionist Apathy Jack.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

When Good Science Goes Bad

'They all laughed, but my robot Granny will show them—isn’t that right, Granbot01?' TARGET ACQUIRED. UMBRELLA ENGAGED. ADMINSTER RECTAL TRAUMA. 'No, Granbot, not me - I am your master!' ADMINSTER RECTAL TRAUMA!! 'Nooooooo!!!'

Sometimes I think it's a bad thing that I'd feel the need to come up with such a flimsy excuse to use the phrase "rectal truama". But then I think no, it isn't.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


'Yes, fine - I forgot to wear pants. Happens to everyone. You can stop staring.' But they couldn’t stop. First Brian began to slide his hands into his pockets, then Dora. Things were getting uncomfortable.

Yea, I am returned. Immediately following the anniversary of Christ's resurrection, no less. Coincidence? Maybe -- I'll just say this: no-one's ever seen me and Jesus together.

At any rate, that was a pleasing holiday from the pressures of being adored online. I'm back now, having re-built my previously depleted stockpile of cartoons; enough to keep me going for, ooh, a week. Two, probably.