Thursday, January 31, 2008

To the Orphanarium!

They had found the plane wreckage, in which the shattered corpses of their parents could still be seen, twitching and partially on fire. Uncle Bertie's attempts to cheer them up with his repertoire of bird calls and animal noises were less than successful.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Reader Mail #6

Fua and Jenny, the time-traveling lesbians, plucked baby Moses from the river. 'Right,' said Jenny. 'This religion is going to see some changes...'

Yeah, I still do this from time to time. Today's caption courtesy Apathy Jack.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


'I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your coat hook. I'll move my stuff -- no need to get angry...' Even as she apologised, Candice moved to cover her ovaries -- she'd seen what happened to girls who found themselves on the receiving end of Supergirl's heat vision...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Andrij at The Daily Top Ten pointed out that the link to the site feed over on the right there doesn't work. God knows how long that's been like that. Fixed now - thanks, Andrij! Everyone else: Go visit his site.

Take That, Scoliosis!

The Spine-O-Fix Correctional Back Brace results in freakishly correct posture in all who try it. Buy yours today! Warning: May cause Nazism.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

This One's for Chris

Drama in the Land of Porn: 'Well I've got my hands on the writhing serpent and now I'm all wet - care to join me?' 'Join you? It's a fucking snake - get it away from me, you mad bitch!'

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I Know I Say This Every Year...

...but it's my birthday.

You may ply me with genuflection... now.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

La Vitesse

Timmy made it over the collapsing bridge with seconds to spare. Now all he had to worry about was the penetrating stare and increasingly forward advances of The Frenchman...

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


'Last chance, Agent Spencer - where did you hide The Device?' 'Go to hell, Natalya, I'll never tell you - never in a million *glub glub glub*'

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Happy New Etc.

I don't know about you, but I spent New Year's eve on a plane. I entered 2008, not by counting down to midnight, but by entering a time zone where it had already happened. But I'm home now, so I guess I don't have an excuse for getting back into things. Things like this:

Mavis hated the countryside - she could never take two steps with going ankle-deep into a cow pat. Fortunately there were always stray dogs around to wipe on. Her gypsy companion marvelled at her resourcefulness.