Monday, April 03, 2006

OK, Fine

While I still have an audience, let's go for three a week instead of two, on the assumption that I'm not as creatively barren as I secretly think I am, and won't run out of ideas in a month (instead of a month and a half, if I'd stuck to two). Look for new posts Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Whenever Grandpa came back from the Orient, the girls liked to play 'Guess What Grandpa Contracted This Time' by examining the sexual residue caught in his moustache. 'Is it gonorrhoea?' asked Suzie. Flora disagreed: 'No, it's too clotted for that—some sort of herpes, perhaps?' 'I'm afraid you're both wrong,' chuckled Grandpa, 'it's Multiple Resistant Tuberculosis. And I've just breathed it all over you, you disrespectful little slags.'


Noah Brand said...

The girls loved trying to guess the ethnicities of their father's rotating cast of boyfriends, and he'd picked this fellow up just to give them a real challenge.

Anonymous said...

Jim had finally found a husband for his conjoined daughters. They seemed please dispite the parisite on his upper lip.

Anonymous said...

"You're not getting your cap back," twittered the girls, "until you've given us both a big surprise!"

"Bertie," muttered Uncle Jack out of the side of his mouth, "you might want to fetch your camera."