2 Monkey 2 Fluid

So, what happened was, last year I spent a few weeks "remastering" all the images here, after links to the old ones started breaking. And, nostalgia being what it is, I thought "wouldn't it be fun to do this again for a bit? But why now?" And then I remembered that I started originally in May of 2006, which makes this month the 20th anniversary.

I had a bunch of images that I never got round to using the first time, and I've never been against re-using old images more than once, so I've flexed my atrophied captioning muscles to crank out some more of these... things. I figure I've got enough new comics for three or four month's worth - let's enjoy it while it lasts.

The Terrible Twos

Today, it should be noted, corresponds directly with Monkey Fluids' second birthday. Let's celebrate with a splash of colour:

I Know I Say This Every Year...

...but it's my birthday.

You may ply me with genuflection... now.

Comic #200: Learning Pickup Lines with Bertie

And that's number 200. There will now be the traditional brief interruption in transmission while I gasp for breath like a fat man chasing a cake. (A cake with legs.)

The Ties That Bind

Oh, and comic #150 happened some time in the middle of Obvious Week II. I always lose count.

Chimp Justice

Just to keep you on your toes, this time I referred to a monkey as a chimp! And I laughed when I did it!!

Hang on -- March 20. That date sounds familiar... Why, a year ago today it was March 20 as well! And that was the day that this all started. What I'm getting at here is that today is Monkey Fluids' first birthday. Hasn't he grown?

As is becoming traditional, I will celebrate this anniversary by buggering off for a while. I'm humouristically pooped -- frankly, I'm surprised I made it this far. I need to take some time off, find some new source materials, think up some new paedophile gags and generally sort things out (did I mention that I've just bought a house?) I'll be back in a while, most likely.

If you're new, have a look around -- there's a year's worth of archives over on the right there. If you're not, keep an eye on that RSS reader...

Today is my Birthday

You may ply me with adulation... now.

Comic #100: Everything New is Old Again

So this is number 100. More or less -- the count gets a bit messy when you decide whether or not to include ones like this or this. Regardless, I say this is the century comic and my word is law.

I was thinking about packing it in once I reached 100, but then you fuckers start saying things like:

In recent months, Monkey Fluids ... has risen from the muddy depths of the web to become one of the best satirical and pseudo-educational comic strips out there.

And, well, my ego's just too big to pass that sort of stuff up. I will, however, take a short break (I'm thinking a week or two) while I take a breather and work on the next hundred fifty bunch. When I return, I'll probably cut the posting frequency back to two a week as well.

Your instructions while I'm gone are twofold:

1. Learn how to use an RSS reader -- they're built in to all the modern browsers. That way, you won't have to keep checking the site to see if I'm back. There's that syndication link for the LiveJournal-inclined also.
2. Nominate, in the comments for this post or via e-mail, your favourite comic out of the first hundred. The CafePress merchandise could do with updating, and I want to know which designs are most popular...

Right, back in a bit.

Comic #50: Something Different

Good morning, class. Today, we're going to be going over the sorts of things to look for in a picture when you're trying to come up with a caption for it...

Starting with our jolly captain (1), what's he so pleased about? Winking slyly, pipe in hand -- there's got to be something going on there.

The woman to his left (2) also looks suspiciously happy. She also appears to be leaning to one side slightly, as though she's about to fart. Fart jokes are funny.

Things get even more interesting when we turn our gaze to the old man in front (3). Not only does his head appear worryingly close to the captain's crotch, it's also covering up the captain's hand, which is equally worryingly positioned -- plenty of material there for why he might look so happy (see 1).

Moving on, the gesture being made by the woman in the middle (4) is a little suspect. Palm up, fingers curled, beckoning slightly, all of these give the impression of someone who wants something slapped into her hand. If that "something" were a penis, comedy could result.

And finally, while all this is going on, the dog on the right (5) stares out to sea, unconcerned with the boat or its passengers. What is he looking at? Or avoiding looking at? This is pretty much a blank slate for anything you might want to come up with.

So bearing all of this in mind, what can we come up with for a caption? How about:

"Denise let one go quietly enough that no-one noticed -- no-one that is, except for Captain Jim, who lowered his pipe to better appreciate its full vintage. Flatulence fetishists -- there's one on every boat." (1+2)

"Uncle Henry could only gaze in rapt fascination as Captain Jim unzipped and began to show off his latest piercings." (1+3)

"Come on Uncle Henry, slap it out right here -- if the stories are true, you should be able to do it without getting out of your seat..." (4)

"Conversation resumed as though nothing had happened. Only Fido continued to stare at the spreading ripples that marked the final resting place of Father Jeremy." (5)

All of these are the wrong caption to use, however, because THE STORY IS TITLED "JAKE'S HOLE" FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! You just can't outdo that, and shame on you for trying.

Apologies to Kathleen Winfield, whoever you are.