Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Elephant Butler

'Damn it all - the Master's accidentally suffocated one of his boy-whores again,' thought Jeeves the Macrocephalic Butler. 'If only I wasn't a mutant freak, I'd be able to find work at houses where this sort thing didn't happen every other week. *sigh* Better get the acid bath ready, I suppose.'


Profitable Conundrum said...

"Not much meat there."

"There's enough."

amc32 said...

I'm dreadfully sorry sir, but cook informs me we have completely run out of leeches: his lordship used the last of them this morning due to a viagra mishap.

Balls. Oh well, get me a ruddy breadknife them. Just make sure it's only been used on white bread - not on that working class wholegrain muck. Brrrr. It makes me queasy just thinking of the stuff.
Oh come ON, Fotheringham-Thomas, that's an artery, find me a vein.
Good lord, can't I get any decent help around here?

Anonymous said...

The cheeky Girls in the cloak room rehearsing their latest slutty video - goodness who would have thought working for a Tory MP would have been so racy.

Anonymous said...

"Oh bother, we've got vampires again. Toodles, better get the repellent. I'll try to keep it away from young Tommy until you get back....."

Anonymous said...

Jeeves was getting a little tired bursting in on the boys while they indulged their fixation with the 'Final moments of Nelson' especially as they wilfully overlooked tht what Nelson had actually said was; "Kismet, Hardy" and would then proceed to suck each other off.

Anonymous said...

"His eyes aren't moving. I don't think he's breathing, and I can't feel a pulse. What should I do?"

"In this case, sir, the wisest course is perhaps to fuck him before he goes cold. Will there be anythng else?"

Anonymous said...

"For fuck sake! The grounds empty and the Ref went home hours ago. You got your man sent off. Just bloody move on lads!"

"It's OK Knobby. We're practicing for the semi-final. Howard Webb's a much tougher nut to crack."

PS Lembit Opick (another macrocephalic but a sex god nonetheless by all accounts) is a Liberal Democrat.

Anonymous said...

Timmy pumped Bobby's arm like a water spigot because he knew that Bobby had swallowed way more than just what was in that pan. If Bobby didn't revive soon, Timmy knew he would have to service the Johnsonville NAMBLA Convention goers all by himself.

"Deary me, Young Master Bobby is doing his Rod Stewart immitation again I see." said Jeeves.

The Master and Timmy laughed and said..."yeah, we're in the band", but Timmy wouldn't be laughing long as they heard the doorbell ring.