Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Satanism: It ain't easy, folks

'OK, so now you slash its throat. No, its throat. Its thr - no, don't  drown it! For fuck's sake boys, do any of you actually have a knife? Why do I fucking bother…' The sacrifice turned into a complete shambles. The Dark Prince would not be pleased.


That Morthos Stare said...

Little Known Facts About the North: In Warwickshire a boy must baptise a sheep before he may have convivial relations with it.

Jeromy Lloyd said...
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Jeromy Lloyd said...

"I know what you're all doin', and doin' it in the water don't make it less filthy!"

Anonymous said...

The old scotsman's warning of "Yeh boys keep outer that crick! There's kelpies that'll drag ye down, there!" went unheeded, and as the infamous Sheep Kelpie of the Marsh sucked the three down into their watery grave. The old man thought sadly to himself, "They never listen, do they?"

Anonymous said...

At the National Sheep Hurling Championships the officials were continually being thwarted by animal rights activists.

"Ha Ha! Perhaps you could measure them quicker if you didn't have such a small tool"

"Fucking Lesbians!"

Anonymous said...

Sheep "Damn you Winifred M Brough"

Androgenous Boy "Look on the bright side, you COULD have been Sunday lunch."

Farmer "Oh ar, an' yer COULD 'ave been on the end of my dick"

Unknown said...

Years later, Mick and Keith had no idea where the inspiration came from for "Goat's Head Soup" and the lead song, "Dancing with Mr. D".

Anonymous said...

"I Say! This sheep wants a reach-around!"

"cheeky bastard"

Craig! said...

Old man Cruckshanks plan to lure the zombies away from town with a sheep was a smashing success; but this would not end the horror. He raised his sharpened stick, "Steady, Norman. Steady. The fate of Yorkwalesworchesterglockenheimshire depends on this toss."


"Now, boys! Gut it! Gut it so the leeches will expose themselves for harvesting! This is going to be the best Leechday Ever!"
The boys had never heard of 'Leechday', but it was either this or the old man would expose what they did to Sister Penelopes corpse. And they couldn't have that.