Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Mistletoe and Wine

Web access has proved to be a little tricky to come by in my current location, but it's Christmas, so I should probably make an effort:

It is a sad and poorly-known fact that Santa Claus is actually lactose intolerant. All of those glasses of milk see him dashing to the lavatory every couple of houses. He is often pursued on these occasions by members of the Catholic Church, who believe that his saintly excretions can bestow magical powers.


Unknown said...

"Marcia, you’re the only girl on the Ministry of Silly Walks’ staff who did not suffer from an arm amputation. So… what do you think of that bloke over there?"

"Yes, it is a silly walk alright. I mean, just look at him go. I do, however, think we should just hang to our good and old sliding over one foot thing. I just stepped on some shit and this floor is already a mess."

Anonymous said...

"Santa! You've got Maisie pregnant! What steps are you going to take!"

"Fucking great big ones back to the North Pole!"