Thursday, January 04, 2007

Back in Black and White

Holy crap -- it's, like, a new year and everything! That means an entirely new number at the end of every date. I'm struggling to cope.

Good things to happen to me over these holidays included the first occasion on which I was recognised by a complete stranger for my Monkey Fluids shirt -- hi to Sarah from New World in Warkworth. (Was it Sarah? I'm reliably shit at remembering names -- you know who you are.) Also, confirmation of my suspicion that I am an idol to teenagers worldwide. The tumescence of my ego rests squarely upon their heads. You heard me.

Less good things included the observation that a vast percentage of visitors over the last few weeks have been people searching various engines for horse fucking, drawn like moths to a flame to the title of this recent post. Actually, I lie -- that was one of the good things, too.

Enough reminiscence -- on with the show...

Lack of exposure to women caused some odd fetishes among the public school boys: 'Righto, chums -- let's get this dirty wee slut-board back to our rooms for a group funting! Coming, Bertie?' 'No thanks, lads -- I'm going to spend some time with this cheeky little easel...'


Anonymous said...

Those Wacky Eastern Europeans - Episode 6: End of term disco.

Break dancing had just reached Murmansk and the pals had brought a bit of lino. Serge was still into Jive, whilst poor retarded Valerie was still tranfixed with his bits of wood that never left his grasp.

Meanwhile the mummified corpse of Comrade Lenin was propped up in a humorous pose, and hence not allowed to spin in his grave.

Happy New Year.

Anonymous said...

Yule Brenner's Bitch-Slap 101.
"You children are pathetic little losers destined to live a life filled with unimpressive bitch-slaps. Look at you! Slapping his back? Knocking yourself over? Wooden props?? Failing marks for all!"

Auntie Marga said...

Mr Frobisher the housemaster was livid that the boys had stolen his slut mattress. Fortunately, it provided him with an excuse to thrash them with his slut cane.

Anonymous said...

Petherington, a new boy, was unaware that the punishment for wearing a striped blazer on the third exeat after St Wythans Day was reverse crucifixion and buggery. Dash it! The chaps in his house would never let him live this one down.