Thursday, February 01, 2007

Unnecessary Profanity (The Best Kind)

'Ha ha! Told you girls can't play cricket. It's against God’s will.' 'Can it, chimp-boy. You're half chimp and your mother fucked a chimp.' It was true, but she didn’t need to say it.


Hewligan said...

"The best thing about playing the girl's cricket team," thought Jimmy, "is that whenever Henry bowls a googley, I can see right up Betty's skirt."

joel said...

looking at the way betty held the bat, and her startled expression, john chuckled to himself while he thought of a very similar scene that happened the night before.

Anonymous said...

As the ball whistled past Betty's bat once again, the blood froze in her veins. According to the terms of her bet with The Cricket Master, if she was bowled out one more time, she would have to pay - with her body. And she didn't know the first fucking thing about playing cricket. Damn.

hillhunt said...

"So what do you think of the new England opener, Ritchie?"

"Full marks for bottle, no helmet and all..."

"And her batting?"

"Shit like the rest of 'em."

Anonymous said...

Peter:"See? I told ya dames dames are no good at nothin'. Yeah. See?"


Anonymous said...

"This won't do at all Mrs Blenkinsop, I suggest another two weeks of hormone therapy before we can put you in for the final operation."

"But why should it matter about cricket, the England side can't play either."

"Exactly my point. A right bunch of old women."

dialmformetcalfe said...

English keeper: Nice mullet.
Scottish batsman: Tanks, bin werkin on't fer yers.
English keeper: Nice skirt.
Scottish batsman: Oi! Ahl geeve yew a raht clobberin you pommy cant.

Smash! Death Rattle!

English keeper: That's right, fuck off back to the highlands you yokel, you're out.

dialmformetcalfe said...

Taking an illegal peek at the adolescent Gloria, Kenneth muttered loud enough to put her off her game:

"If there's grass on the wicket, you can play cricket"

Neil Willcox said...

w"Owzat!" cried Peter.

"Hey!" said Betty "what's with the levitating stumps?"

(No, seriously, those stumps can't possibly be there.)

Anonymous said...

And the Clueless American has nothing to add.

"What the Hell are those damn sticks doing in front of the catcher??

Anonymous said...

Not only have the wickets shot into mid-air for some strange reason (well spotted), but clearly she is a right-hander (look at the gloves), and is twisting round to make some sort of weird girly type stroke (look at the shoulders). So why is her arse pointing in the opposite direction?

This has obviously been drawn by a woman, or one of those sickly types that take a note in from mummy every games period.

Hewligan said...

Screw you, you anonymous bastard - this is the internet; we ALL took in notes from mummy for PE.

Enzio Pesta said...

Bet you I can modify the caption I've been using to fit this illustration too.

I won't do it though because I am a sick man. And I'm bored. Hope you don't mind.