Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Adventures in Aural Wellbeing

Bertie readied his auriscope and approached the unsuspecting target... 'SURPISE EAR TEST!' 'Gah, fuck! You scared the shit outta me, man! Ah, I've dropped my tommy gun - it's gonna have mud all over it now!' 'Sorry, pal, but at Mafia Medical we keep you on your toes. You're gonna love the prostate check...'


Anonymous said...

Using all the stealth he's learned at flying school, Archie clubbed the gay mafioso over the head.
"That'll teach yer, pervert!" he muttered.
Archie was blithely unaware that social mores, nay even the law had changed since he'd hidden himself in the botanical gardens back in '42. Let alone the fact he'd crash-landed not in Kiribati, but in Western-Springs and that the war was long over. however, nothing could explain his hatred of gays. Or the mafia.

Anonymous said...

"Hey,somebody left this spatula embedded in yer noggin. Let me just pull that out for ya."

"OW! NO! Leave it! It's the source of my superpowers!"

Anonymous said...

"Fuck you!"

"No, Fuck YOU!"



"There that's fucked you"


Anonymous said...

After the cartoon men had finished off Morten Harket, they went in search of fresh prey.

(Ooh, pop culture reference.)

Anonymous said...

"Ah ha. It's landed on that mobsters head. This one's for little Timmy".....
"DAMN IT! It's flown away again. One of these days Hat... You'll pay for what you've done to my family."

Anonymous said...

Tintin's glee at knabbing the intruder quickly vanished in the realisation that here was Captain Haddock freshly shaved after 2 years at sea, with a present of a real live Tommy gun for his favourite nephew's birthday.

"Bollocks, I'll have to blame Snowy"

Reverend Frag said...

I couldn't figure out how to make a caption based around it, but did anyone else get the impression that the two guys and the gun are all flying backwards at an incredible rate of speed?

vincenzo said...

With a perferated eardrum and a broken rectum, Bertie ripped the the shirt off the guy and began the final test of the surprise physical.

Biff really didn't think a mammogram was necessary, but Bertie insisted.

NIPPLE RINGS...Bertie just knew his job was going to be so much easier now! He pulled on the nipple rings and crushed Biffs man-tits between to glass block and did his through inspection. The glass block opened up and Biff crumbled to the ground.

"Hey...Good news...you gotta fuckin' clean bill of health you fuckin' putz. No need to pay me now...4gettaboutit...We a Mafioso Medical believe in being fuckin thorough like. But if you ass doesn't pay up by Friday...I am sending nurse Guido over here to personally check you for a hernia...got it?"

Anonymous said...

The Olympic torch relay of '32 will always be fondly remembered as the year it all went horribly wrong.

Anonymous said...


Why would you want a state of the art assault rifle when you can beat the shit out of your predator from Myspace with your mother's canopener?!
My Mom's Canopener, now comes in six different shades of white and four add on blade features!
Ask for one this Christmas!