Tuesday, June 26, 2007


'That's right -- you sit there and you think about what you did. When you're ready to apoligise, I'll give you back your nose.'


warren said...

I didn't mind the lack of nose, the webbed hands or even the flippered feet. It was the gills that I simply couldn't abide.

I'm sorry, Herbert. I'm afraid this is good-bye.

Anonymous said...

"I can't do it... Spiny Norman is out there somewhere."

"Dinsdale, you know Spiny isn't real."

"None of your sarcasm, Doug, you know it don't work on me. I laid Stanley Baldwin."

"Sure, Dinsy, sure."

(going for the obscure pop culture reference)

Vicus Scurra said...

You know, and I know, we both know, that those stains on the fabric are not ice-cream.

Anonymous said...

"I'm telling Mum. You ALWAYS get the comfy chair."

"I don't care. Besides I've farted on it now."

hillhunt said...

Father was always an insufferable snob, bowing his head when the monarch addressed the nation. But we knew we had to act when he had the Royal Coat of Arms tattooed on his forehead.

buddhistmonkey said...

Commit SEPPUKU, you worthless, tashed pig!

Anonymous said...

Things have moved on since the 1920 Paralympics. In those days even the lack of a nose got you into the wheelchair event, but the equipment wasn't built for speed.

The biggest drawback however was the insistence of the organisers that all competitors be dressed in pinstripe suits. It was thought that the display of a prosthetic leg was poor etiquette.

Anonymous said...

'So let me get this straight, Brian. You are asserting that my Mum sat on your face for so long last night that your nose was worn clean away?"
"Yes. Yes, that's what I'm saying."
"You sick fuck..."

Anonymous said...

"And the bruise on your forehead?"
"Your sister."
"You need help, Brian..."
"Do you have any Aunties?"
"Just leave it, Brian."

Anonymous said...

"Looks like I stepped in shit," murmured Toby.

""Better make a beeline for the conservatory before he recognizes the corn from last night's dinner,"" thought Bertie, the hallway shitter.

Anonymous said...

Gerald was crest-fallen. He'd staked his life savings on Reverend Green with the lead piping in the ball-room.
Mind you they were ALL taken aback by Michael Barrymore with his fist in the swimming pool.

Anonymous said...

"Well I'm all done in the bathroom, Harold......Oh Good Lord!!! Tell me you didn't. Not on Grandma's favorite chair."

Anonymous said...

A section of script from Passions.

Jared:walk to the door and slightly touch knob. You fool, it was me who stole money from the Society of Replacement Facial Features not Teresa.

Robert:slowly look down at feet, drawing the focus to Puma brand. Mother would be so proud.

Jared:CUE tear, left eye. Do you think so? I loved her so much. I also raped Jessica, ran over Sarah's twin and locked Justin and Claudia in a safe on a deserted island during a hurricane of evil spirits for her.