Thursday, May 14, 2026

Not gonna lie, this one got away from me

A voice came from the other side of the room: “Ah, Rebecca—you’re awake. I expect you have many questions, so let me see if I can answer some of them. First of all, no, this is not a sex thing. It’s not. I’m a kidnapper; I’ve kidnapped you for ransom, not for sex reasons. Because this isn’t a sex thing. Yes, you are tied to a bed, and yes, beds are where sex occurs, but it’s just because I don’t want you to get away and the bed was the most convenient item of furniture to restrain you on. Similarly, while you are gagged, this is again for kidnapping reasons—preventing you from crying out and alerting people to your location—not for any sort of choking, asphyxiation fetish purposes. Perish the thought. “If you need the toilet at any stage, I’ll escort you to the bathroom—I don’t want you soiling the bed clothes. And if I did, it wouldn’t be some sort of sex thing, it’d be because I’m a callous kidnapper who cares not for your comfort. Not a sex thing. If I hear afterwards that people are saying this was a sex thing, I’ll know it’s because you lied to them and I’ll be very disappointed, because I feel I’ve been very clear on how much of a sex thing this isn’t. “Now, relax and try not to strain yourself—I’ll just be over here making a ransom note out of letters I’ve cut from a newspaper with a pair of plastic scissors. The plastic scissors are a sex thing.”
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