Thursday, June 28, 2007

Dancin' to Some Chin Music

'Bertie, wait - he's just an old man with a cane!' 'Old man with a cane, Timmy? Or hidden assassin of the Illuminati? Let's ask Mr. THROAT PUNCH!' 'He's... he's not moving, Bertie.' 'He's hibernating - bears do that all the time.' 'Bear? I though he was a-' 'Look, do I need an excuse to assault senior citizens? Now help me with his pants.'
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Contrition

'That's right -- you sit there and you think about what you did. When you're ready to apoligise, I'll give you back your nose.'
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Friday, June 22, 2007

I'm Just Sayin'

Oh, and I've shuffled things around a bit on the Cafepress store (and the other one).

It's nothing special but if... y'know, if you wanted to maybe go there and, I dunno, buy stuff? I guess... I guess that'd be cool.
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Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Game is a Foot

'...and the Lord said 'Let there be no light!'' In the darkness and confusion that followed, our plucky protagonist was able to escape from the clutches of the secular humanists to continue his investigation. Tune in next week for more adventures of Sherlock Jesus, Teen Detective!
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Adventures in Aural Wellbeing

Bertie readied his auriscope and approached the unsuspecting target... 'SURPISE EAR TEST!' 'Gah, fuck! You scared the shit outta me, man! Ah, I've dropped my tommy gun - it's gonna have mud all over it now!' 'Sorry, pal, but at Mafia Medical we keep you on your toes. You're gonna love the prostate check...'
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Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Case for the Defence

'Go on then, jump in. You won't, you big puss.' 'Fuck off, I'm doing it! I am!' 'Puss. You’re a fucking puss. What's that, puss? What's that? 'Meow?' All I hear is 'meow.' What, do you want some milk? A mouse to play with? Is that what you want, puss? Those are some stylish boots you’re wearing, puss. Puss.' And that's why I killed him, Your Honour.
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

A Cautionary Tale

'AIIEE! The pixies are flying their tiny plane into my armpit!' The dangers of masturbation #17: Loss of depth perception coupled with belief in pixies.
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Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Ties That Bind

'Strange... I'm sure I can hear a rhythmic slapping sound, as though hundreds of adolescent boys seated in front of computers were masturbating at the same time.<br />Must be my imagination. Ah well, back to writhing and struggling against my bonds, my heaving bosom straining against the cruel ties that confine me...'

Oh, and comic #150 happened some time in the middle of Obvious Week II. I always lose count.
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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Meanwhile, on the Sci-Fi Channel

Tune in every week for the adventures of Rodney the Pantless Space Mountie! Thrill to his exploits as he fights against dastardly space communists in the surface of Mars and contracts other-worldly social diseases from five-nippled Venusian prostitues! In tonight's episode: A suggestive pun on the word 'Uranus'!
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Friday, June 01, 2007

Obvious Week II: The Obviousening

Rapedog.

Acknowledgements to Hewligan and, of course, Jeremy Slater.

And that's another Obvious Week out of the way. Feel cleansed? I know I do.
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